New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
