I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
