I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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