this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
