I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
