Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
