I just made out with a guy for $7.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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