Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
