I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
