i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
