I wish i was in the wii world.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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