you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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