is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
