problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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