Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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