apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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