a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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