I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
