her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
