make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Vodka?
Forever.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
