I cockslap morals
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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