Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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