dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
