Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
