Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
