How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
