Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
