I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
