I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
