24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My bed smells like the plague
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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