Three words: puerto rican gang bang
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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