She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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