It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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