I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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