it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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