she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
