conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
