Its about making memories worth repressing
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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