my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
