R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Randomize
