I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
