I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
