this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
