I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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