but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
