Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
