If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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