i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
