I want to walk on stilts...naked
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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