I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize