She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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