I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
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