when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
