My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
